I got some face-time with a woman we’ll call Cristina, who happens to be the personal assistant for a well known rockstar. She agreed to speak to me on the condition that names and identities be anonymized to protect the guilty.
So, what’s being a personal assistant to a star like?
Despite the belief of many of my friends, it is actually FAR from glamourous. it’s a thankless, endless parade of self-sacrifice and taking the blame for other people’s mistakes. But if you learn how to not take it too seriously, it’s also a helluva good time.
How does fashion play into your job?
It’s really important that I never go out looking better than my boss, but then it’s also important I don’t go out looking like he hired a shlub.
So how to you manage that balance?
It’s called wearing all black.
Do you get to hobnob with other rockstars and celebrities?
You betcha, that’s basically why I do this job.
What have you learned about celebrity culture?
Hmmm…ok, here’s one thing.: That at the end of the day, no matter who you are, no matter how much you make. we all want the same things. love, security, good food, and cozy pajamas.
So all the tortured love songs your boss writes, do you know who those are about?
[laughs] He never says directly, but I have a decent idea. I think who he sends me out to buy gifts for is often a good indication of who he’s wooing – and writing about. Or apologizing to.
So what kind of gifts does a rock stay say “I’m sorry” with.
The same kinds he says “go out with me” with – flowers, and jewelry. It makes it easier on me, because I don’t need to know the girls dress size to find the perfect little something.
Does he ever pick these things out himself?
Nope. It’s all me.
So what kind of Jewelry would you buy for a girl he’s trying to woo?
Rings are out. You want something that she can wear right away, without having to be resized. Necklaces are alright, but what really does the trick is a bracelet. I think it works cause she can see it all the time and so it starts to make her think of him every time her eye catches it. A necklace, once you put it on, you don’t really see it anymore.
Makes sense. So what bracelet would you pick from Ice.com?
I kinda like this sapphire one. It’s glamourous without being too showy, but noticeable enough that her friends will comment on it, and that’s an important part of the wooing process.
If we’re trying to really impress, then you gotta go diamonds, so I’d probably grab a classic tennis bracelet.